i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize