with your own penis?
i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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