Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
