Your tits are I can't wait for
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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