I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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