the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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