Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
