That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
