We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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