You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
