I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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