My room smells like vodka and shame
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
