the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
