A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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