Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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