And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
