do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
