you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
