Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Randomize
