Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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