That's intense
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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