Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
it hurts more in the daytime
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
