K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He shit in the fireplace
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