at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
