Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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