We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
you told grandpa to call you daddy
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
