Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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