he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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