i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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