hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
