i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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