So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize