After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
