Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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