Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
