ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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