if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
