where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
