Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
