Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
