then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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