Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
