OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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