Your face is a jimmy john
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
