Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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