At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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