I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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