Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
