just tell him i said nine months
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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