I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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