so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize