things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
