R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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