Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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