I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
