I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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