I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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