Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
