Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
