Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
accomplished twins. life is a go
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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