the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
