Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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