Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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