She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
