Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize