I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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