Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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