she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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