So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just gargled with NyQuil
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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