this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
