I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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